Naruto Fangirl Hotline On The Air
by Univerasal Disaster
Summary: ever wanted to talkto a naruto guy or girl? Well, call us on our radio station!
1. Intro

THE NARUTO FANGIRL HOTLINE

THE NARUTO FANGIRL HOTLINE!

Alex: Hiya people! This is U.N. speaking

Ashley: Hey there!

Alex: oh ya this is my friend from Job's Duaghters Ashley!

Ashley: WOOHOO!!

Alex: /sweatdrop/ save it for the phones!!

Ashley /laughs nervously/ hehe ya uh sure………

--

Ashley: HELLO!! This the fangirl hotline how may I direct your call?

Orochimaru: (in a high pitched voice) Hello, im uh, not a 60 year old man may I talk to Sasuke?

Ashley: /off mic. / Anyone else think this guy is familiar? Alex: /evil laughter but says nothing/ --/on mic/ Alright then! Here we go! /phone rings/

Sasuke: /picks up/ Hello?

Ashley: /evil snicker/ I HAVE FOUND YOU! /click/

Orochimaru: SASUKE!! My precusious why did you kill me?

Sasuke: /chills run up spine/ O-oro-sannin? How are you still alive?

Orochimaru: That doesn't matter why did you leave me!!

Sasuke: /click/

Orochimaru: NOOO-/beep/

Ashley: /sweatdrop/ onto our next caller!!

Alex: Hello all!!

Ashley: /looks over at her friend through the radio station window/ Umm why are you calling? Your going to be hosting next!

Alex: Not for Naruto………….but anyway call Cho-Kun!! /takes out her signature kitchen knife and weilds it in Ashley's direction/

Ashley: /notices knife/ a-alright then /click/

Choji:Hello? Choji Akimichi here.

Ashley: Good luck……../click/

Choji: Who is this? Some prank caller?

Alex: /is about to hyperventitlate/ No….im..uh Alex…

Choji: OH! From that new radio station? I think Ino's listening right now at her flower shop

Alex: /aura that says she'll kill ino immets from her body scaring co-workers./ Y-ya umm I was wondering if you would like to go out for umm barbeque or ……………..something.

Choji:……………(a/n his jaw is on the floor so its kinda hard to answer XD)

Alex: ummmm hello?

Choji: I would lo-Ashley: OH look we're out of time!! Next caller!! /screams can be heard in the background as security pulls away Alex/

Ashley: NEXT! /smiles cuase now she cant be chopped to bits/

--

Hello its me U.N or Alex either way I would like you feed back on this, it was an idea me and a friend of mine (Ashley) got at a sleep over during the summer, never actually wrote it though XD

So please give me you name and who you like to call if want to be in it

I would also appreciate you telling your friends. You can also tell me anything you wan tto tell you r favorite chars.

Here are the available guys and gals

Sasuke: (cuase I like to torture him)

Gaara: ( cuase I'd like to write his reaction to some crazy fangirl)

Deidara: (lots of clay jokes ahoy)

Sasori: /sings/ I GOT NO STRINGS!)

Zetsu: (5 bucks says no one wants to call Mr.Planty phyco)

Neji: (poor icecube is in for a shock)

Shikamaru: (Doesn't have enough fans!

Shibi: (I mentioned the father before the son pathetic I know )

Shino: (see? I did him after his dad)

NARUTO!!: (cant forget the main guy now can we?)

Kiba: (hehe yes Akamaru is included)

Ebisu: (theres a closet perv in all of us!!)

Genma: ( For the older fans mostly)

Kakashi: (you know you wanna see under his mask!)

Guy: (ummmm I thought it was my duty to put his name on the list)

Asuma: (Smokey, smokey, ardichoey on your lungs!!

Kankorou: (nearly forgot the puppet master)

Itachi: (Mr. Eye-need-glasses)

Kisame: (One word if I meet him. SUSHI!)

Pein: (some girls like the i-wanna-dominate-the-world types)

Hidan: (umm ya hes just here just in case)

Kazuzu: (See the picture I was thinking of when I wrote the latest chapter of Highschool hole and you'll understand why hes here)

Tobi: (if you like two-facers

Iruka: (hehe the teacher!!)

--

For the guy fans (and if there are any gay readers I promise ill put you in if you submit your name )

Sakura: (Main girl, just don't get her angry you cant really sue me if you get hurt)

Ino: (Ya flower girl is kinda nice sometimes, plus she'll be flattered you called..)

Tenten: (Trianing, training!)

Hinata: ( you wanna know the real reason shes always blushing? /wink wink/)

Temari: (hehe blow her off on a date and she'll blow you over the the entire city of Suna)

Kurnei: (okay forget her a widowed pregnant women needs cheering up!!

Konan: ('Angel of god' what else do you need?)

Orochimaru: (ya you all say shes a guty but I know better!! Why else wpuld she needs sasukes body? /nudge nudge/)

Shizune: (ya shes just on the list…..)


	2. woohoo graveyard shift!

Ashley: Hiya Fans

Ashley: Hiya Fans!

Alex: Hello there

Ashely and Alex: WELCOME TO NARUTOS FANGIRL HOTLINE!!

Alex: before we start we have a couple of announcements!!

Ashley: First off, due to unfortuneate circumstances in the cash department of our wallets we do not own Naruto or anything else that is copyrighted in this fanfic.

Alex: And secondly we have a special guest today who was already asked as the special guest as a birthday present for my friends 18th birthday!!

Itachi: ….Hn

Ashley: Still sore about being gagged and bagged?

Itachi:….

Alex: Okay then on with the Fanfiction!!

Ashely: Oh and callers go in order of review!

--

Alex: Hello there! Welcome to the graveyard shift of Naruto's Fangirl Hotline! Who is this?/presses button for first caller/

Itachi: Why am I doing this again?

Alex: because if you sont we'll throw you at the mercy of thw thousands of fangirls outside the recoding studio! /cackles at Itachi/

Iyachi:….

Samigal2413: hi there I was wondering if I could talk to Neji?

Alex: /sweatdrop/ Okay then…./presses another button and a phone rings/

Neji: Hello? Hyuuga Residence.

Alex: Here's your cue Sammigal! /presses the same button so they can't hear her/

Sammigal2413: the destiny thing is so cute everywhere i go now something has to do  
with destiny what do you think that means huh? ;)

Neji: / holds the phone away from his head and stares at it/ I do not believe I know who you are, please excuse my rudeness but I have practice now. /hangs up/

Alex: /presses button again/ Wow. That was fast, nearly as bad as Sasuke's. In consultation you get two calls! HOOPLAH!!

Itachi: Why are we giving these infuriating people more calls to give me a headache? /rubs temples/

Alex: you just answered that yourself! / smiles /

Sammigal2413: Sweet! Okay then Kiba-kun is my second choice. /waits impatiently/

Alex: /presses another button/

Kiba: Yo! Inuzuka residence!

Alex: / sighs and presses the button again (1)/

Sammigal2413: Hello there Kiba!

Kiba: Hey there /realizes there's a girl on the phone for him/

Sammigal2413: Has anyone ever told you that you look adorable with your hood up?

Kiba: Not until now sweet thing! /Is smiling like the village idiot/

Sammigal2413: Well then--Alex: SORRY TIMES UP!! Next caller? /presses button/

Darkest Midnights': Hi there can I please talk to Naruto? /hold hands up to the phone like their praying/

Alex: Sure thing! (2) / stabs a big red button/

Itachi:…../makes mental note to steal naruto's number for tracking/

Naruto: /yawns and picks up phone/ Hello?

Darkest Midnights': WHY IN THE NAME OF RAMEN HAVEN'T YOU NOTICED HINATA?? / Screams outrage into phone/

Naruto: /is thrown backwards and knocked unconscious by the force of the phone/

Alex: WOOOOW cause I like you. You can have another call!!

Itachi: …….

Darkest Midnight's: Okay then next choice………um how about Gai and Lee?

Alex: /Nods in agreement/ okay then hold on for a sec! / realizes Ashley erased the number/ WHHHHHHHHAT?? ASHLEY I SHALL GET YOU FOR THIS!! / is forced to yellowpage the number, steam coming out her ears/

Itachi: Arent you the one who was supposed to lock up the studio last night? / smirks /

Alex: Your point is?...

Darkest Midnights': /sweatdrops as they stare at radio/

Alex: / finally finds the number for the training hall/ FINALLY!! / raises hands in the air like the packers just scored/ oh wait I have a caller on hold!! /presses another button the has to dial manually/

Itachi: you brout this in yourself……

Gai: Hello This is the youthful training hall? To whoms youthfulness may I give this phone?

Darkest Midnights': Could you get Lee with you? I have something to say to you…../ smiles evilly/

Gai: Allrighty then! LEE MY YOUTHFUL APRENTICE COME HERE!! / Lee runs over with his scarier then Jiryia's face speed/

Lee: Hello there? Sakura is that you finally wanting to become my youthful girlfriend? IF SO I WILL PROTECT YOU TILL THE DAY I DIE!!(3)/ saluted phone/

Gai: Lee I do not believe this is your beloved Sakura on the phone………..

Lee: oh then………..c-carry on! / has lines of gloom hovering over him/

Darkest Midnights': / coughs/ GET A GRIP!! I like the way you two look but………o' god do you two need counseling…../ hangs up unable to say anymore/

Alex: /presses another button/

Yurara-17 (4): HI ALEX GET ITACHI ON THE LINE!!

Ithachi: im already on…..

Yurara-17: / runs through the studio doors /

Itachi: O.o /stare in horror/

Alex: 8D hey there! / gets out of the way so she can glomp Itachi/

Yurara-17: / glomps Itachi/

Alex: / laughs on the floor / YOU BROUGHT THIS ONYOURSELF!! / sounds of Itachi trying to pry of Yuara-17 are heard in the background/ Well its time to say good bye now peeps!! Please remember to tell people about this and you'll get more chapters.

--

1) It's a radio station , lots and lots of buttons…

2) it took two chapters to get to the main character!!

3)Alex: Holds her hand to her ears.

Itachi: has had earmuffs with Akatsuki clouds on from the start.

4) HAPPY BIRTHDAY LYNDY!!

Okay okay belated birthday but so what what? 8D


	3. One of those Mornings

Alex: Hello people of the vast unforgiving world!!!

Ashley: /// sigh ///

Alex: umm….. I am very sorry for putting off the chapter so long, if you read my next update ill explian!!!

Ashlay: /// Rolls eyes ///

Early Morning Traffic

Alex: ……..uggh

Kisame: Whats your problem? I'm the one who was kidnapped and tied to a chair!!! /// Bounces the chair that hes chained to to prove his point ///

Alex:Worse I got stuck with an all night because Ashley never came in, PLUS I HAVENT HAD MY MORNING COFEE UNLIKE YOU UNGRATEFUL FANS LISTENING IN!!!!

Kisame: /// winces in pain ///

Alex: ///sigh /// alright time for the first suck- I mean caller! //sits down and puts on her 'serious' face.

MewTangerine: Hello!

Alex: Welcome to our show lucky caller who would you like to tor- I mean call!

MewTangerine: NEJI!! // grips the phone while wearing an evil smirk ///

Alex: ///click /// poor neji……

Neji: //picks up ringing phone// Hello Hyuuga residence?

MewTangerine: Yes Neji I have a question for you!

Neji: umm…..good ahead….

MewTangerine: Do you believe in the power of Destiny?

Neji: Yes, bu-

MewTangerine: /// fiegns a gasp// NEJI!! I THIUGHT YOU CHANGED!!!

Neji: I-

MewTangerine: I CANT BELIVE YOU EVEN AFTER YOU HAD THE CRUD BEATEN OUT OF YOU WHO WAS 'DESTINED TO FAIL?' HONESTLT YOU HAVE SOME NERVE!!!

Neji: If you would just let m-

MEWTangerine: AND TO THINK YOU wERE GOING TO BE AWARDED!!!

Neji: wait wha-

MewTangerine: THAT'S RIGHT YOU WERE GOING TO GET AN AWARD FOR THE MOST MELTED ICE IN A FIGHT!!!!

Neji: I DO BELIVE IN DESTINY BUT I ALSO BELIEVE IT CAN BE CHAGED!!! Happy?

MewTangerine: Very!! But you still don't get an award! // click///

Alex: // is cracking up laughing in her chair as Kisame chuckles in to his mike/// okay now that we've just made Neji a laughing stalk of Kohona for the next few weeks Caller two would you please stand up? Or rather call up…….

Kisame: /// sweatdrops///

Blue-Heart08: 'ello can you patch me through to Sai please?

AleX: good luck talking to jerkwad! /// is currently questiong Blue's (1) sanity /// //click///

Sai: Hello?

Blue: Yes Sai I would like to know something. WHY IN WAFFLES NAME DO YOU WEAR THAT BELLY SHIRT?WERE YOU A BELLY DANCER?? And why in syrups name are you such f-beeeeeep beeeppp beeeeep! //click//

Sai: ……..?-?

Kisame: A bit slow on the uptake arent you? People already know what she was saying…..

Alex: //smacks him on the back of his head /// SHUT UP!!! I ENDED UP THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT WITH ITACHI!!!!

Kisame: // sighs //// this concludes this mornings session……….now on to sports with Sasori

Please excuse the short length I originally intended to run this comlpetely off of fans…….but apparently their arent many peopl who ACTUALLY CARE! Sio if you loyal readers could spread the word to other members so you don't have to wait three months for the next chapter REVIEW!!!!

Oh and for you people to keep in mind Sai is our next Star gueast!!!

(1) Blue-Heart08 NOT Kisame


	4. The afternoon Traffic show!

Alex: *yawn*

Sai: What is it you pinkish haired molester?

Alex: *smacks him upside the head* IM TIRED!!!

Sai: Not to tired to do that you jerk

Alex: Like your one to talk….

Lyndy: BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP UNIVERSAL DISASTER DOES NOT AND WILL NEVER OWN ANY CHARACTER/STORYLINE AFFLIATED WITH A COPYRIGHT!!!

Sai and Alex: *are both scared stiff*

Lyndy: What? *shrugs and walks away.

Sai: I would like to tell the idiot who forgot to put a name on their review () yes that's what the ysaid…..please put a NAME DOWN.

Alex: That was a bit harsh *sweatdropp*

Sai: Their fault……

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Alex: Welcome to the Naruto Fangirl hotline, we are now on air!

Sai: If we weren't on air then why else would we be here in this ridiculous studio? *false grin *

Alex: Listen sigh if you make this show any harder then it already is I will personally chop you up into mincemeat and feed you to the protesting bashers out front, they have worse then a simple butchers knife…… *glares decisively*

Sai: Fine ill play nice you hypocrite…

Alex: Alright First caller you are on!!!

MewTangerine: Helloooo! Im back!!!

Alex: Welcome back to the show Mew, now who may I direct you to this evening?

MewTangerine: Shika-kun!!! *evil cackle*

Alex: I feel sorry for him already…..

Sai: What type of Insanity are we imposing on Nara?

Alex: The entertaining kind! *Smirks devilishly*

Sai:……

Alex: *pushes button*

Shikamaru: Nara residence, to what do I owe the displeasure of talking to for ruining my nap?

MewTangerine: I just have a couple of questions for you, nut there from the Hokage so if you'd rather sleep….

Shikamaru: *sighed * What. Do . you. Want?

MewTangerine: What are your thoughts on Rock Paper Scoissors becoming a sport?

Shikamaru: What?

MewTangerine: How ould you feel if a mob of fangirls were chasing you?

Shikamaru: scared shitless…..

MewTangerine: What do you think the reason is behind the chicken crossing the road joke?

\]Shikamaru: To occupy idiots….

MewTangerine: Who came first the chicken or the egg?

Shikamaru: who theyre its….

MewTangerine: Why do you always say things are a drag?

\

Shikamaru: Because I can…..

Alex: BEEP!!! Alright times up though that was entertaining

Sai: A useless waste of space on Microsoft word…

Alex: *blinks* I thought we were on air? O.O

Sai: -_-'

Alex: Anyway Moving on next caller!

Vannah-chan: Hiya poeplz of the world!

Alex:Welcome to the show to whom may I direct your call?

Vanna-chan: Zetsu-kun!!!!!

Alex: Errm……okay…. /// off mic /// She does reliaze hes a cannibal with split personalities right?

Sai: /// shrugs idifferently ///

Alex: //// sweatdropps //// your some help…..

Alex: Alright then Vannah-chan here is your precious Zetsu!!!

Zetsu(white): Hiya.

ZEtsu Black: **Hello?**

Vannah-chan: WOULD YOU GO TO THE PROM WITH ME???

Zetsu Black and White: ………/// puts down phone thinking its some stalker ////

Vanna-chan: ZETSU NOOOOO!!!!

Alex and Sai: /// stunned speakless…..///

Alex: Umm okay that was an unexpected turn of events, just because I wanna see what you do next you get two extra calls!!!!

Sai: Why?

Alex: Because my Dear Friend, we are here for the viewers and the REviwers! And thye like crazy people.

Sai: I guess that explains why your always here….

Alex: Ill pretend I didn't hear that for the sake of your health…..

Vanna-chan:….um?

Alex: Oh sorry who would you like to freak o- I me call next?

Vanna-chan: Pein // cackles into phone ///

Alex and Sai: O.O'

Alex: okay then! // presses button ///

Pein: Akatsuki Headquarters how may I help you?

Vannach-chan: Hi there I have such a piercing fetish, Can I help you take over the world?

Pein: // sweatdropps // depends, do you have any special jutsu?

Vanna-chan: umm no?

Pein: Any special abilities or kekkai genkia?

Vanna-chan: err no….

Pein: Have you ever killed anyone?

Vanna-chan: Does a fish count?

Pein: /// sweatdropps, sighs and hangs up ///

Vanna-chan: PEEEEEEIN!!! NOOOO!

Alex: ouuuuuuuuch

Sai: I believe she has just been burned // smiles //

Vanna-chan: /// sniffles /// Can I call Deidara now?

Alex: Sure…../// presses button while she holds in laughter ///

Deidara: Heloo?

Tobi(in the background): I didn't know DeiDei had a cell phone.

Deidara: SHUT UP!!! IM ON THE PHONE TOBI!!!!

Vanna-chan: Hello im Vanna I wanted to talk with you about art!

Deidara: // gives off a ladies man smile that scares tobi enough to be quiet…/// Well then you've called the right person Vanna-chan!

Vanna-chan: I just called to say I agree with you art is a bang, and I was wondering if I could b- Alex: OKAY TIMES UP!!! Plus we need to keep the T rating here….-_-' !!

Sai: It was just getting good /// sigh ///

Alex: It was just getting vulgar!!

Sai: my point exactly /// looks at Alex seriously ///

Alex: /// sweatdrops // whatever…..next caller?

May5000: I would like to cal Sas-gay! /// eye twitches loud enough to be heard on air///

Alex: Woohoo looks like we have a basher in the house!!!!

Sai: If I had emotions then the one I would be feeling right now would be sympathy….

Alex: Forget sympathy Bashers have more fun! /// pumps fist in the air overdramatically as she presses button ///

Sasuke: // sigh /// Hello?

May5000: Were you born a prick or does it come naturally?

Sasuke: What?

May5000: BECAUSE YOU ARE A GAY EMOTE BASTARD WITH CHICKEN BUTT HAIR!!!!

Alex: wow that was funny do it again with someone else!!! //claps into her mic ///

Sai: the sympathy thing was right…..

Alex: Shut it , Sai!! Alright whos your next call?

May5000: oooooh Temari!!!

Alex: Alright then here we go! // presses button that squirts water into Sai's face/// O.O oops sry, okay here we go ///presses button that starts the call ///

Temari: Hello? Kazecage's residence!

May5000: Hi would just like to tell you YOUR AWESOME!!!YOU AND YOUR FAN BLOW ME AWAY IM LIKE YOUR SECOND BIGGEST FAN!!!!

Alex: that was …interesting XD /// giggles into mic while Sai is still getting water out of his ears///

May5000: Can I call Naruto???

Alex: Sure Fine with me! /// luaghe openly as she presses the button and listens for the fun ///

Naruto: /// answers phone warily /// (See previous chapters) Hello

May5000: Would you be interested in a liftiem supply of ramen?

Naruto: WOULD I ?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? RAMENS MY LIFE!!!!

May5000: Then all you have to do is accept the offer!

Naruto: I accept!

May5000: and stand on your head

Naruto: errm okay //stands on his head while still on the phone ///

May5000: Spin three times…

Naruto: // spins and gets tangled up in phone cords /// ….ouch okay?

May5000: Now you've Won!!!

Naruto: Seriously?

May5000: No. /// hangs up ///

Sai: Alex laughed so hard she peed her pants from laughing so hard (DID NOT!) so im takiign over I guess…..next caller…

Darkest Midnight: Hello please hook me up to the trianinf field for Gai and Lee!

Sai: // presses button ///

Lee: SAKURA-CHAN!!!???

Darkest Midnight: No this is Darkest, could you get Gai with you?

Gai: Hello?

Darkest Midnight: I need you two top press your ears to the phone…

Lee and Gai: HAI!!!

Darkest Midnight: YOU NEED HELP!!!!

Sai: Because that was, harsh, cruel, and insensitive you get another call

Darkest Midnight: SASUKE!

SAi: Well that sympathy thing IS wearing thin……//presses button ///

Sasuke: Hello?

Darkest Midnight: EMO BASTARD DON'T YOU DARE STEAL MY POT OF GOLD YOU BLACK AND RED LEPRECHUAN!!!!!

Sai: /// applauds /// your on a roll keep it coming!

Darkest Midnight: /// evil laugh /// Gaara!

Sai: /// presses the button ///

Gaara: Hello? Kazecage speaking?

Darkest Midnight: WHY DO YOU CARRY AROUND CAT LITTER???

Gaara: ?

Darkest Midnight: IM SURPRISED KITTIES DON'T GO IN IT!!!! REALLY YOU SHOULD AT LEAST CLEAN OUT SOME OF THE LUMPS!!!!

Sai: /// smiles /// well this is actually kinda fun…

Darkest Midnight: I have a question for you too!

Sai: Really? What?

Darkest Midnight: WHY DON'T YOU ASK OUT INO-PIG YOU SNOB!!!! // hangs up ///

Alex: /// walks back into the room /// Sai, why are you sulking? Your killing Chuck the cactus….

Sai: Hes already dead, how can kill something that's dead?

Alex: Ever killed a Zombie? 8D

Sai: -_-'

Alex: Alright I'm back faithful viewers but it is time for our show to end, its sad yes! But I have chores, and Soemone has to mince up Sai

Sai: OoO

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Hiya people I would like to remind you that you can call ANYONE from the Naruto universe , /// wink wink ////

So if you would please press that peurple button to call in I would be happy,

And next weeks special guest is Byakuya form Bleach! Random yes, but then again so is this fanfiction ^^


End file.
